The Nonce

Gary Dahl has a lot to answer for. It was his idea to market the "pet rock" apparently, back in the 1970s. Fortunately for the silicoids among us the fad was short lived, but in that short time, an entire generation of pebbles was subjected to an uncomfortably unnatural lifestyle. Even now, thirty years later, I still have to treat traumatized pebbles suffering from chronic, acute lichen.
To most people a rock is just a rock, but an abandoned rock left out in all weathers can soon begin to suffer from splitting caused by ice seepage. While these things happen to rocks in the wild, a "pet" rock has been encouraged to expect loving care.
Apparently, some of the original pet rocks were subjected to attempts by their owners to train them! The sad fact is that while rocks can be domesticated, it can only be achieved by understanding their nature and working sympathetically with their special characteristics. Of course a piece of sedimentary shale can't be taught to fetch, but with proper handling, by skilled handlers of course, even the most recalcitrant flint can be bonded to a community of domesticated stones, serving for many years as a sturdy wall.
It is true that every now and then a wall of stones will collapse, injuring a human in the vicinity, but in almost every case, a careful examination will show that the stones in the wall were victims of long-term neglect.
So, next time you are at the beach, and feel an impulse to pick up a "pet rock" to take home with you, stop and consider; will you be able to provide it with adequate care? will you bathe it in saltwater regularly, rolling it over and over with other rocks? or will it languish sadly on your shelf. Enjoy the domesticated rocks you already have (but probably hardly notice) but leave the wild rock in its natural majesty.

posted by Kittybriton @ 7:16 AM